Inked: Are Tattoos on Women Trashy or Liberating?

Ask anybody how they feel about tattoos and you are bound to get some strong opinions. I remember the first time I attempted to broach the subject with my mother. I was 16 and set on getting a tattoo on my 18th birthday. She said absolutely not. Her reasoning…only bikers, hookers, and pirates get tattoos.

Exactly how does one argue with that? If you figure it out will you please let me know?

Needless to say it was exasperating and after weeks of debate I made up my mind to get a tattoo whether she decided to disown me or not. But my mother’s perspective, while hilarious and seriously outdated, does bring up an interesting point. During the years my mother was growing up tattoos were a symbol of anarchy and liberation; think Janis Joplin who famously said, "Women with tattoos like to f*ck.". Tattoos bespoke a life of crime, gay advocacy, flower power and radical feminism at its best (or worst).

Which begs the question…have tattoos become our generation’s version of bra-burning?

Look at some of the reasons tattoos are so appealing to women:

Appeal #1: Mom and Dad don’t like them. I’m sure there are exceptions but I have yet to meet a pair of parents excited about the prospect of their daughter getting a tribal band tattooed on her upper arm. Exactly what tribe is she a part of? It doesn’t matter; spiting Mom and Dad is fun.

Appeal #2: Men don’t like them. Sure there are exceptions but research has proven that the average man has more negative attitudes toward women with visible tattoos. It may not be a deal breaker but given the choice they prefer women without the artwork. Well, if we have learned anything from human history it is that women will look for any excuse to give a male dominated opinion the middle finger. “You guys don’t like tattoos? Well too bad, I‘m not getting it to please you.” It’s juvenile, it’s prideful. It doesn’t matter; putting the patriarchy in its place is fun.

Appeal #3: They are a physical right. We should call the shots when it comes to our bodies and tattoos are a visual proof of that fact. Nobody else has any say when it comes to having something permanently printed on our skin because we are the ones that have to live with that decision. Sensing any similarities to reproductive rights? Yup, pissing off radical conservatives is fun too.

Women are still in the trenches fighting for the right to make decisions about their own bodies regardless of what their family, significant other, or government dictates. Tattoos symbolize a small victory within that struggle. At its most basic level, tattoos are a social statement about the control that women DO possess. That when it comes to our bodies, no one can tell us what to do.

Even if we somehow end up looking like a pirate working a street corner.

If you still don’t think tattoos are culturally significant check out this article:
Got Ink? No Drink! Swedish Nightclub Doesn’t Serve Tattooed Women

Victim Blaming 101: It Wasn't Rape-Rape...Sure, and the Age of Consent is Just a Number

The debate is certainly heating up over Roman Polanski’s arrest. I for one am glad because this is not something that should just be swept under the rug. This is something that needs to be talked about because the public perception of rape is obviously severely skewed. There are way too many myths circulating out there about what rape “isn’t” and it needs to stop.

Now whenever there is scandal in the entertainment industry you can always find a few celebrities contributing their opinion. Two notable figures in this debate have been Whoopi Goldberg and Chris Rock. (click their name to view video) Chris Rock has always been an asset to the feminist movement in my opinion as his comedy routines often call out behavior that is offensive to women. In one routine he asked all the men in the audience if they were feminists to which he got an unenthusiastic response. He then asked them if they had a mother, a sister, a daughter…if so, they were a feminist. Because if someone hurt their mother how would that make them feel? If someone insulted their mother, made her feel bad about herself, would that make them angry? He may be shallow, egotistical, and crude but Chris Rock knows what a feminist is.

Rock also recently released a documentary entitled “Good Hair” which examines the traditionally white standards of beauty that black women are exposed to. He was promoting this documentary on Jay Leno when he brought up the Roman Polanski case. His inspiring rant may have been in response to Whoopi Goldberg from The View who said that, “I know it wasn't rape-rape. I think it was something else, but I don't believe it was rape-rape.” (Jezebel)

Poor Whoopi. She is getting slammed for this and sadly it was probably just a case of not thinking before speaking. That being said, she should have known better. Her words illustrate a perception of rape that a lot of the general public shares; that there are “levels” of rape, that some types of rape are worse than others, and that in certain cases the rapist isn’t completely at fault.

Oh HELL no. The victim is never at fault. Why? Because the rapist is the one who is physically doing the raping. It doesn’t matter what she was wearing, what kind of person she was, whether they had a sexual relationship before; if the woman says no, it is rape. Tell your friends because it scares me to think there may still be confusion about this.

Roman Polanski drugged, raped, and sodomized a 13-year old girl. That. Is. Rape.

It is being suggested that the sexual relationship was “consensual.” Who are these people and are they on acid? The victim testified that Polanski gave her champagne, drugs, and took nude pictures of her in a hot tub before having sexual intercourse with her despite her resistance and requests to be taken home. He doesn’t deny this. He plead guilty and fled the country when he found out the jail sentence for statutory rape was, well, kind of long.

So it’s not even her word against his. Too bad we are a culture that loves victim-blaming, a culture that is quick to suggest that OBVIOUSLY this 13 year old girl was asking for it and willingly participated in consensual sex with a 44 year old man.

Let’s just suppose, for a second, that this is true.

When you are 13, there is no such thing as consensual sex. When you are 13 you can barely decide what outfit you want to wear to middle school that day, let alone whether to have sex with someone. This is why the age of consent exists. It wasn’t like a bunch of politicians were sitting around one day and thought, “Gee, wouldn’t it be fun to mess with those crazy teens by telling them they have to wait to have sex? That sure would piss them off.”

No. The age of consent was put into law because we recognize the fact that children do not have the cognitive ability to make informed and unbiased decisions about their physical well-being. A 13 year old girl is working with a limited supply of brain cells. Her priorities range from how popular she is to how good her hair looks. If she thinks for one second, “If I don’t do what this man says he’ll tell all my friends and I won’t be popular anymore” chances are she will have sex with him. That, ladies and gentlemen, is her extensive and thorough decision-making process. So go ahead. Just TRY and tell me that is consensual sex.

In Georgia the age of consent is 16 which personally I think is still too young. The majority of 16 year olds I know can barely tie there own shoes. It is mind-boggling that they are considered old enough to make smart decisions about there sexual health, but whatever. I'm not the expert and I don't make the rules.

The moral of the story is this; there is no such thing as rape that isn’t rape. I don’t care if Roman Polanski made a shit-ton of amazing movies. I don’t care if he has spent the last thirty years saving dolphins, feeding the homeless, and is this close to finding the cure for cancer. If you rape a 13 year old girl and try to get away with it, I will hunt you down vigilante style like it’s my job.

Oh and Chris Rock is my hero. And Whoopi Goldberg, even though her comment was inappropriate, has made an issue go public that needed to be clarified. And she starred in The Color Purple. So there’s that. Try and go easy on her.

To Ban or Not to Ban?

Tracy-Clark Flory at Salon.com has written an interesting article concerning a debate on banning burqas in France. While burqas may make the general public uncomfortable the majority of women wearing them are doing so by religious choice and not under threat or by force as the common misconception suggests. Wouldn't a ban on wearing burqas "subjugate" women as much as the act of wearing them does?

Read her thoughts and decide for yourself...definitely some food for thought. Comments are welcome as always.

Being Chaste for Change: Challenging the "Right" of "Conjugal Rights"

Two articles have recently caught my attention concerning the idea of “conjugal rights.”

The first is an older article but since reading it I have not been able to get it out of my head. In the beginning of May, the Center for Rights Education and Awareness in Kenya urged women to abstain from sex for one week to protest political unrest due to poor relations between President Mwai Kibaki and Prime Minister Raila Odinga.

Two things happened; first and foremost, the strike worked. Change was initiated. No violence, no assembling of the masses; just a bunch of women abstaining for seven full days. These women are GENIUS…it makes me wonder if they inadvertently discovered the solution for World Peace.

The second repercussion was the subject of this article. A Kenyan man was so distraught by the lack of his “conjugal rights” he sued the organizers claiming he suffered from stress, mental anguish, backaches and lack of sleep as a result of the strike.

Where, I ask, is his sense of nationalism?

I think he left it at home, along with his dignity and self-respect.

The second article is cause for extreme concern. For those who are not aware, back in April Afghanistan passed an extremely controversial law that prevents women from declining a husband’s request for sex. It is a law that legalizes rape. Apparently President Hamid Karzai “missed” that particular provision. The law had so many articles he got tired of reading them all. Being a politician is really hard.

Afghani women refused to stand for this type of tyrannical legislation. They marched for their right to say no and suffered physical injuries as a result. Police in Afghanistan are not very attentive when it comes to protecting women protesters.

I hope these articles make you as sick as they made me. Both are suggesting the same thing; that sex is a RIGHT. We know this is blatantly untrue but some people don’t have this luxury. Can you imagine what it would be like to live in a country where this was not a given fact? Where you were told as a woman that you were required to have sex with your husband X times a week as part of your responsibilities as a dutiful wife?

I would like to think this attitude is not prevalent in our country but more and more I am seeing examples of this behavior to a much lesser degree. I would never dare to compare our situation to those of brave Kenyan and Afghani women but I do believe we experience this “sex is a right” concept a lot. Women are made to feel guilty if we withhold physically from someone we are dating because “they have needs.”

Newsflash; women have needs too. We, however, are capable of something called self-control. Take notes gentlemen…you are not entitled to anything physically. Ever. Drop the guilt-trip routine because any woman with half a brain won’t buy it, and we are sick and tired of shutting you down.

These stories made me realize how far women’s rights activists still have to go. I have recently complained to some of my friends how I am tired of being labeled “the feminist.” How I am defined by this alone...like when a friend makes a joke about getting something for me to eat and how it better be “feminist and vegetarian friendly or else.” It’s easy to get tired of the jokes and snide remarks.

All I need to revamp my faith in the cause is stories like these. Stories of women who are willing to use whatever power they have, even if it is simply their power to say no, to fight for change.

I thank God every day that I live in a country where no really does mean NO.