Vampires Suck: Feisty Female Heroines of Urban Fantasy Show the Undead Who's Boss

Over the last decade there has been a steadily growing trend for the urban fantasy genre in TV and literature, especially among young women. Laura Miller wrote an excellent article for Salon.com concerning this. For those that aren’t familiar with the term, urban fantasy refers to romantic/thriller mysteries that deal with the supernatural (vampires, werewolves, witches, demons, etc.). Authors such as Laurell K. Hamilton, Charlaine Harris, Kim Harrison, Kelley Armstrong and Stephanie Meyers have made a name for themselves through urban fantasy literature and their books have developed cult-followings that give Harry Potter fans a run for their money.

My feelings about this trend are mixed. It is probably public knowledge by now that I hate the Twilight series by Stephanie Meyers. Actually hate is too tame a word…loathe would be more appropriate.

The issue I have with the series is very specific; Edward and Bella have nothing in common, barely speak to each other, but somehow miraculously manage to fall in love because they like how each other smells. One small problem though…he is constantly fighting his temptation to kill Bella. Moral of the story; don’t let your boyfriend drink your blood, because if he does he may not be responsible for trying to kill you. Ahhhh, young love.

This message isn’t so destructive for adults, but for teenagers that are the series’ target audience? I think it is absolutely frightening that a message like this is being projected as “true love.“ Supposedly the books are supposed to promote Christian values, which is why Bella and Edward’s relationship is so sexually charged yet they are adamant about waiting to have sex until they are married. UMM, maybe they are adamant about waiting to have sex because it is a very real possibility that Edward may KILL Bella. It certainly gives a whole new meaning to using protection.

So hear that girls? Sex kills. And love is based on smell. And if you want to look pretty, you should always look slightly perturbed and pout a lot. And be incapable of breathing with your mouth closed. Yeah Kristen Stewart, I’m talking to you.

You will see something very different if you read some urban fantasy by the other authors I mentioned. In these, the main character is a female heroine who in some way is in an epic battle against supernatural beings. Paradoxically they are also dating and/or sleeping with the supernatural as well. Conflict of interests? Perhaps, but it sure is refreshing to see a young heroine who can hold her own against the undead both inside and outside the bedroom.

Twilight fans, take notes; these women are hard-core. They are strong, determined, smart, and sarcastic. They can vanquish you to hell, fight off a stampede of zombies and come up with witty comebacks all in the same chapter.

Basically Bella would pee her skinny size 0 pants if she had to face-off with one of these ladies.

Why does any of this matter? Because with any trend there should always be a healthy balance so that people can have their pick of type-cast characters. I AM NOT suggesting that these characters should be role models, but regardless it is undeniable that these stories have influence and we need to be aware of it. Sure it’s fictional, but unlike Harry Potter mania this genre is fantasy just the other side of realism. There is a basis in reality that makes the fandom go a little over the edge sometimes. If this is the case then its nice to know we are sending balanced messages about the role women can play in these environments. That way it’s each to her own; if you like the shy, gutless, I could be torn to pieces at any moment but I don’t care because my boyfriend is so dreamy type than Twilight fans can have at it.

If not, explore your options.

Here are some series to get you started:
Dead Until Dark by Charlaine Harris (now True Blood on HBO)
Dead Witch Walking by Kim Harrison
Anita Blake series by Laurell K. Hamilton (note: this series goes horribly downhill after book 10 so I would suggest discontinuing at that point)
Bitten by Kelley Armstrong

Eliminating the Labels: Can We All Just Be Humanists?

Labels are a funny thing. On paper they seem pretty harmless; a way to quickly identify your perspective to other people, to advocate for what you believe in, to be part of a like-minded community. Great on paper; not always so successful in practice.

Why? Because people make assumptions.

This isn’t always a bad thing. Throughout our lives our brains learn to make assumptions to save time and serve as a defensive mechanism. Assumptions are essential for keeping ourselves safe. For example, if you are about to cross a busy intersection you make an assumption that those cars are not going to stop for you. Congratulations, you just avoided becoming road kill.

The danger comes when people hear a word or “label” and then create an impression about that person solely based on negative stereotypes and assumptions.

Case in point; I have become “The Feminist” in my group of friends. As in, “Look, it’s my favorite feminist!” or “If you pick up any food for her make sure it’s feminist friendly.” Basically I feel like the missing member of the Breakfast Club; the princess, the criminal, the brain, the athlete, the basket case, and the feminist.

I can take a joke, but it goes beyond that when I become defined by this label. Certainly there are worse things I could be defined as, but why do I have to be “defined” by anything at all?

This has forced me to reflect on how vocal I am regarding my feminism. Honestly I didn’t think I was that in-your-face about it. Obviously this blog is a totally different story; this is an environment where I can vent and whine and pick on boys as much as I want, take it or leave it. But in person I thought I was filtering myself pretty well. Guess not.

Well, you should have seen me five years ago. In a backwards way I have actually made a lot of positive progress. My whole life I’ve struggled with my identity; for many years, the majority of high school and college, I tried as hard as a I could to downplay my femininity. I wore baggy hand-me-down clothing and perfected my cynical I-hate-anything-girly attitude. I wanted to show people I was strong and I couldn’t reconcile that idea with appearing feminine. Feminine equaled doormat in my mind. I became “one of the guys” instead, and it worked for me.

But it wasn’t me, until feminism bridged the gap. I could be a woman and be strong. Win.

So maybe I am pretty vocal about it. Maybe that’s because so many people aren’t. People are afraid to associate themselves with feminism because of the negative assumptions people immediately make about it; read man-hater, bra-burner, and anti-razor. Women don’t want to be “The Feminist” amongst their peers any more than I do. You make yourself a target for debate and ridicule and it seriously handicaps your dating life.

In that case, is the label even necessary? If all it brings me are snide remarks and mumbled jokes, is it really worth it?

I don’t have a good answer. On the one hand I would say no, as the scale seems unfairly balanced. Feminism is advocating equal rights for women, yes? Well then where is the label advocating equal rights for homosexuals? Equal rights for the disabled? They have bumper stickers, why not a label?

Or how about a label advocating equal rights for men? Chauvinism isn't really cutting it.

As the movie 100 Girls so eloquently states, perhaps “the only -ists there should be are Humanists.”

Furthermore, how important is it to claim the label publicly? Many people, both men and women, will tell me they are a feminist in one-on-one conversation but will steer clear of the label in any group setting. I have no problem with this; sometimes your opinions are a privilege and not a right. They don’t always need to be shouted from the rooftops…yeah I know guys, I’m working on it...

On the other hand, I say the label IS necessary if you are brave enough to take it on. This is because women’s rights are threatened on a daily basis, especially in countries outside of the United States…and because a label DOES exist for protecting those rights, for sparking the interest of others in the cause, I will continue to claim it in both private and public settings. Certainly I don’t ascribe to all feminist doctrine but that is the case for any label. That is why assumptions are so harmful. Assumptions disregard the fact that we are unique human beings capable of forming our own opinions outside of a mob mentality.

Slowly I am becoming more aware of how I am presenting myself. I certainly hope that I disprove some of the more negative feminist stereotypes, and in the future I hope I can temper my rants in a way that doesn’t present an air of negativity or bitterness.

Most importantly, I am realizing that the label is temporary…and I am looking forward to the day when I won’t need to be a feminist anymore.

When we will all get over ourselves and just be Humanists.

Talk Derby to Me: Better to Get Knocked Down than Knocked Up

I liked Maya Rulz the first day of Roller Derby Boot Camp. That was before the third day of camp when she made us do “core exercises.” Imagine laying on your back, hands under your butt, and lifting your legs (primarily using your abdominal muscles) 6” off the ground for an extended period of time. With five-pound roller skates attached to each foot.

She also taught us the porn-star stretch, but unfortunately it’s not as fun as its name implies.

This is a typical Roller Derby warm-up. Recently I completed a week of Roller Derby Boot Camp to train for the Savannah Derby Devils open tryout. Many people have inquired about the sport itself; most are curious about the fascination it holds for me. When I speak of my Derby involvement, 9 out of 10 people have stated something along the lines of “You are the last person I would expect for that.”

Admittedly there is nothing about my outward personality that screams, “You know, I’ve always wanted to wear fishnet stockings and barrel into other women while wearing roller skates, knowing it is probable I will fall on my ass at any moment. What? There’s actually a sport for that? Sign me up!”

Roller Derby has made a huge comeback from its initial popularity in the 1970’s, and will become an even trendier phenomenon when the movie Whip It! hits theaters in October. Originally Roller Derby was staged for dramatic effect, like cage-fighting on wheels. Now it is a recognized sport and there are more than 70 Roller Derby leagues across the United States.

So what’s the appeal?

A. The team itself. I dare you to find another sport that shows the amount of diversity that Roller Derby does. The only rules are you have to be a girl (sorry boys) over the age of 18. Derby Girls come from all walks of life and are all ages, shapes, and sizes. Most sports require you to be a size 2 under the age of 30, and we all know SO many women fall into that category. In Derby it doesn’t matter how old you are, how tall you are, or how thin you are…you just have to be competent on skates and not be afraid to hit people. Big girls actually have the advantage. You should see the face of a petite size 2 when a 250 lb. girl on roller skates is coming towards them head-on. Classic.

B. The attraction of adopting an angry alter-ego. Roller Derby turns anyone into an instant super-hero; shy intellectual by day, sassy bad-ass by night. You have to mean business if you want to live up to a name like Fear Abby or Lizzy Gored’Em.

C. Dressing derby. You don’t have to whore it up completely if you don’t want to but its hard for a girl to not feel sexy in fishnets, knee socks, and elbow pads. Walking home from a Derby party a man actually purred at me. I was not aware men did that. Whistle, sure. Growl and grunt, no problem. But purring? Not the classiest compliment I have ever gotten but glad to know the outfit was deemed derby appropriate.

All these are valid reasons, but after surviving boot camp I realized the biggest reward derby offers is the life experience. It may not seem like it but Roller Derby is basically Feminism 101.

Take derby stance for example; derby stance is how you are required to skate in a bout. Shoulders over knees over balls of feet, like a linebacker. This way you are always ready for someone to hit you from any angle. Also if you fall you’ll fall on your knees which is a lot less painful than falling on your ass. Just take my word for it. Derby stance teaches women to be prepared for anything, to be ready at any moment to be hit by something that could take the air right out of their lungs.

Derby teaches women about true female camaraderie. About working together as a pack. About how to step out of your comfort zone, whether by wearing fishnets or by having your hips grabbed to be pushed into an opposing player. About how to feel powerful and sexy in your own skin, tattoos and all.

I block and you fall. You block and I fall. Now repeat. Sounds like the life story of every woman I know.

If you are the least bit intrigued I encourage you to show up and support your local derby team at their next bout. If nothing else, it’s a good idea for you to be able to recognize every woman in your city capable of kicking your ass. For more information visit the Women's Flat Track Derby Association.

Girls and Guitar Players: Like Moths to a Flame

Good luck finding a 20-something female that isn't a sucker for the soulful guitar player type; "It was like he was singing just for me."

Watch CollegeHumor.com have a little fun with this stereotype.

PS. Wonderwall really is the single girl anthem. Sadly we are that predictable.

Tough Love: Relationship Boot Camp or a Much Needed Intervention?

A show called Tough Love had its season finale episode on VHI this weekend. I have followed the show religiously out of morbid fascination. While it could easily be construed as another offensive and shallow reality show at first glance, I think the cast shows an accurate (albeit exaggerated) representation of a too common problem facing all women; the battle for our own self-worth.

Here is a quick synopsis; eight women who are hopeless at relationships are under the impression they are on a matchmaking show. The big reveal is that their “matchmaker,” Steven Ward, is going to put these women through emotional and mental hell, also known as relationship boot camp, with the intention of making them close to match-worthy. Steve promises that if these women follow his “rules” they will all be capable of finding true love.

No need to explain what happens next; tears are shed, tantrums are thrown, and expensive camera equipment is destroyed. Alcohol also makes a frequent appearance. Seriously, when will these reality show women JUST SAY NO? How many unstable women curled up on the floor crying hysterically will they need to see before they learn to put the bottle down?

But in this case alcohol is simply fuel for the fire. The real problem is they walked in the door with more emotional baggage than they could carry.

These women don’t need boot camp, they need counseling.

The spectrum of defense mechanisms is shown full force. First there’s Arian; Arian has the traditionally stigmatized “daddy issues.” As a child she was constantly seeking approval from her father but rarely received it. Her defense? Validation through sex without any emotional commitment. She gets to feel wanted and approved of but never lets herself get involved enough to be hurt. A lot of men scoff at the so called “daddy issues” but they are very real. Our childhood experiences have a profound effect on the way we rationalize things. Instead of scoffing these guys should remember what they are witnessing so they don’t make the same mistakes with their own daughters.

Then there’s Taylor, the stereotypical gold-digger. Even Mother Theresa would have struggled to feel an ounce of sympathy for this girl. In the beginning of the show she refused to look twice at a guy unless he came with a trust fund and Harry Winston ring in tow. We later learn there are underlying reasons for her behavior including a dysfunctional family life and a child she had to give up for adoption.

Keep in mind, I am not excusing their behavior. Women aren't allowed to be evil just because their dad didn’t hug them enough. What I am saying is that we shouldn’t consider their behavior a black and white representation of who they are as a person.

The other classic stereotypes are also present in an over-the-top reality TV manner; the serial monogamist hyperventilating at the prospect of not being married by 25, the OCD list-maker with impossibly high standards, the shy co-dependent sweetheart who only dates losers, the bitter wild-child who sabotages all potential interest, the career-focused workaholic, and….the vampire? Stasha is just strange.

Stereotypes exist because they're true enough of the time. These particular stereotypes reflect a widespread social epidemic of women not valuing themselves. Whether it’s the result of a less than ideal childhood, poor body image, or just plain low self-esteem, so many smart beautiful women are convinced they are “less than.” This is a subject that weighs heavily on my heart and one of the main reasons I began to proudly speak about my passion for feminism.

I hope these women learn that the reason they are failing at relationships is not because they don’t know “the rules” as Steve calls them, but because they haven’t taken the time to figure out their own emotional needs. If they don’t, that serial monogamist probably will be married before 25.

She’ll probably be divorced before 25 too.